Well, the first run was long and slow. OK, I've never been really fast, but I don't think I have ever been this slow either. I actually think time went backwards at one point. I did like my new shoes though. I am really embarrassed at how slow I am and I am certain people drive by and think "If I was that slow, I just wouldn't run." I wish I didn't care what those people were thinking. Unless they were thinking that I was wearing really great shoes.
I decided to start out running like I did in the Marine Corps - run until you can't and then walk and then run again. Repeat. It was nice that no one was yelling at me. It wasn't really that far - it just felt like it. I am planning on actually running on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I am going to walk on the alternate days. I think trying to run everyday this soon may cause an injury.
The forgiveness thing is even harder. I decided to tackle the hardest ones first. I am choosing not to disclose who those are out of respect, honor and quite frankly, fear. Yes, really, it's the fear.
The first thing I thought when I woke up was "Today I am going to forgive ___________". I then filled in the blank with who those persons are. I noticed that the Voice in my head that reacts to things I do is one of those persons I am trying to forgive. This isn't the first time I've realized the connection but the first time I've made an attempt to do something about it. Every time the Voice speaks, I say "Today I am going to forgive _______".
It's odd that it's taken such a long time for me to decide that I need to start forgiving. I think it was because I was right. Or I thought I was right. But being right wasn't making me feel any better. Sometimes you just have to re-evaluate how things are going and fix the things that aren't going well. I hope this journey leads me there.
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