Day Seven: Staying Strong

I had to run late this afternoon after I had worked all day. It was not fun. But, I did it anyway. AND, I ran at least as far, if not farther than Saturday when I felt like Wonder Woman. I am still running/walking but I try to run to landmarks so that I know when I am going further (or not). It was slow and it was mentally harder, but I kept going and didn't quit. That is the main reason I don't run on a treadmill, it is too easy to just quit. AND you don't have to walk home.

Forgiveness is continuing to work well. I talked to one of my persons yesterday afternoon, and I found it much easier to talk to her and not take some things personally. Even when they are meant that way. It was much easier to just let things go and not react - either mentally, emotionally or verbally.

I think when I was not forgiving, it was a way to keep it being "all about me". What people have done TO me, said ABOUT me, think OF me...when the world doesn't revolve around me at all.

It is also helpful when people who are not necessarily my friends, maybe just acquaintances, do or say things that are annoying, hurtful, or sarcastic. It is easier to see things from their point of view. I've begun to realize that not everything that is said or done TO me has to have a reply or reaction FROM me. I have a choice to just let it go. That was very empowering.

Of all the people I am trying to forgive, it is me that seems to be giving me the most trouble. I have to repeat "Today, I am going to forgive myself" more that any other of the forgiveness statements. Maybe it is because I know my own motives. Or maybe I have taken over for the Voice.....now I am my own abuser. Great

I'm also trying to do better with the "Who cares??" mantra. There are a few people who I care what they think, but everyone else can just bite me. I made a bold step last night at small group by sharing something about myself that was really personal. On the way home, I was panicking about what they might think of me now that they knew this inside information. Then, I remembered that God knows that inside information and He still loves me and has forgiven me and is helping me with the problem. It's not like they haven't all sinned.