Day 26: This is hard......

WOW, was it hot, humid, long and the music on the radio sucked!! It is 70's Saturday, but really, what are the odds that on this miserably hot day every song that I hated would play one after another the entire run - except for some Aerosmith song that I didn't remember but did like. I ran further today than I have yet. It wasn't pretty and it didn't feel great, but I finished it.

Sometimes, God uses real-life situations to drive home a point. I run in shorts and old t-shirts. Some of these t-shirts are really big because I used to be alot bigger. When I was running today, the sleeves on my t-shirt were absolutely driving me crazy. They were so irritating. I'm not sure exactly what was different than before, but they were dripping with sweat and it seemed like they felt like sandpaper on my arms. It probably wouldn't have been so bad, except it was hot, humid, long and they kept playing music I didn't like. It was one annoying thing on top of another.

What does this have to do with forgiving? I think that I have realized that when it comes to forgiving my spouse, THAT is where the rubber hits the road. It is much like my irritating t-shirt - just one thing on top of another. And by the time everything has stacked up and I have melted down, there's no sorting it all out. And because I am brilliant (NOT), I usually just keep going until I have said something REALLY stupid. I don't know about anyone else, but I have found it easier to forgive my parents, my abuser and someone that cheated me out of money than I find it to forgive Joe. And he's the only person in my life who has stood up for me, fought for me, and loved me unconditionally. And yet, the annoying things stack up.

You're probably thinking that this has some real life connection. Yesterday, I had the meltdown to end all meltdowns. I feel horrible about it today, yet I am still having trouble forgiving Joe for what I perceive to be trespasses against me. So, when all else fails, go back to the beginning. "Today, I will forgive Joe and I will forgive me"....